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Approaching mixed sets and other questions.
I've had several questions come in, so I'm going to incorporate the answers to all of them in one email. I have 22 topics for new articles I'm working on and will get to over the coming weeks.
The first issue I'm going to address is approaching mixed sets. I can tell you from experience, the most impressive thing you can do in front of a woman is talk to her when she is with another guy. Women know how socially difficult it is to approach at all, let alone with another guy there. All the times I have done it, I have seen the woman warm up immediately and shoot IOIs. If you have the belief that it is difficult to approach mixed sets or that you will be blown out, then you can change it. In most cases, you are playing amateur psychic "they must be together," "he'll tool me or kick my ass," etc, etc. The truth is, you don't know anything about them, all you know is about yourself and that you are just a friendly guy who wants to talk to them. People who respond negatively to friendly people aren't worth knowing.
Practise this. Approach couples on the street that are obviously together/married. Ask only the woman in each couple a question. The guy will most likely answer, but nothing will happen. Do this 30 times. During the exercise, say to yourself, "I am starting to change the belief that it is hard to talk to women with guys. Then, when you are finished, you can say to yourself, "I can now talk to any woman already with a guy."
At an energetics workshop with men and women I did recently, a guy raised a concern that if he approached a woman, she would tell him to "fuck off." One of the women in the room was a 20 year old hot film student who told us she liked to go dancing and get wild. She told us about a hypothetical situation where she would tell a guy to fuck off. She said when she goes out dancing she rarely has any underwear on. She likes to get crazy and said it wasn't uncommon for her to flash her pussy at guys. She said if a guy came over to her and said something like, "nice pussy, can I stick my cock in it?" she would tell him to fuck off. Ask yourself, is what you are doing the same as that?
This leads into opening. I asked her about opening on the street. I said I would stop a woman and make a comment based on a cold read - independent, adventurous, etc. I would then compliment her on having that trait and ask her if she would like to have coffee with me. All the women in the room said that would work on them. You have to be clear about your intentions from the beginning because the first thing they think about is safety. "What the fuck does this guy want?" What the fuck do you want? If you ask her the time, that's your deal. If you ask her where the post office is, that's your deal. If you ask her out to coffee, that's your deal, and you need to have a reason why you are asking her.
The next area I want to address is story telling. In the course of the workshop, I told a few personal stories. I would drop in the odd fuck here or asshole there when speaking and over dinner after one of the days, another student told me he thought my use of swear words was endearing and he could tell it was simply for emphasis. He could tell I was animated, and enthusiastic. That's what I recommend to you, don't be concerned about the subject or your language, just be committed and experience the feelings you are talking about. You had the most fun in your entire life doing X? Then re-live that as you tell the story. The other people listening to your story will also feel it. The other big thing is to have a punchline. What is the climax of your story? Do you leave people thinking "wow, I'm glad I heard that" or "what a fucking bore?"
Another thing I have been asked about are gimmicks. Magic, balloons, etc. You don't need it, any of it, unless you are a performer and are actually being paid for your services. The instructor for the workshop I did was incredibly charismatic, but he was also enigmatic. He never did anything in a predictable way and the other students would make comments like, "I can't get a good read on him." If you can develop the ability to become enigmatic, people will be drawn to you and away from the magician. This is not to say you can't be entertaining, just focus the result of that entertaining on the other person. Teach them something new about themselves.
Does one have to be the loudest or the one with most energy to come across as the alpha male? This is the single biggest problem with the seduction community, that men think they need to be loud, or aggressive to be 'alpha.' It is untrue. You could be 5' tall, with a relaxed, warm energy and will attract more women than the loud, obnoxious asshole type i.e over-blown self confidence and bravado with inner feelings of panic and LSE. Being alpha is about being in control of yourself. The lion King doesn't fight with the others. He gives them one look and they slink away with their heads down. All the beta lions fight it out amongst themselves. But we're humans, not fucking lions, so I think you should just forget about the whole alpha thing. Clear your energy, become relaxed and happy, develop an enigmatic nature and people will be drawn to you magnetically before you even open your mouth.
How to make a gay girl straight? Simple, associate the feelings of sexual pleasure she gets with women to you. If she is already a good friend, she should be happy to answer your questions. Find out what she values in a sexual partner. How does she know when she is really attracted to someone? If you are against eliciting people's values, tell her a story about your values in a sexual partner and let her relate to you. Find out what's important to her about those values. At the highest level, you will probably get to something like freedom, or connection. Speak about things with you as offering more freedom or connection. This reminds me of another article I need to write about persuasion. If you feel comfortable going totally sexual, you could also say something like this.
"HBgay, won't it be great when we've given each other intense sexual pleasure? Afterwards, you'll smile to yourself and think about how this has been the most sexually intense feeling you've ever felt. The more you think about the reasons why we can't enjoy each other's bodies, the more you realize that this [point to self] is something you want to do."
If you are in rapport, you can get away with anything. Always remember that.
Next, I'll deal with approaching (again), closing and wings. Approaching is simple - what's your deal. Start out with a simple deal like "what's the time?" When she answers, say "awesome, time for coffee, would you like to have coffee with me?" The key to all of this is to not take it too seriously. Relax, just be a friendly guy. If you wanted to be a friendly guy, what would that look like? What would it feel like? What would you say and do?
Once you find out someone's values - either directly or indirectly, they will experience a strong connection with you. You won't need banter or a routine to close her, it will happen organically.
I mostly sarge during the day, by myself. I don't need someone to hold my hand when I am sleeping with her, so wings aren't really an issue for me. Go out by yourself. Who cares? People worry someone might ask where their friends are, but no one cares. Don't go around explaining yourself. Very few people in this world care what you think. It's a very liberating realization when you think about it. It means you can think whatever you want to, for the most part.
If you go out to clubs, and still feel the need to go with someone, find a wing with a similar energy, not someone who will bring you down. When you go out, you invariably end up separated, talking to different people at some point, so why not just imagine your wing is 'over there' and be a friendly guy and talk to people. I also think you should go out with someone you want to talk to. If you're just going to stand on death row, beer in hand in silence with your wing, don't bother going out. Pounding 15 beers in order to squeeze out a lame opinion opener does not a PUA make.
As for meeting people, what are you interested in? Sports, books, etc. There must be some groups in your city/town with these interests. Stop people on the street and ask them what they value in friendship. You will get new friends simply by doing that.
Since taking this workshop, I've experienced a very big shift in my personal magnetism. Random women open me and women with guys approach and smile at me. They are already interested when they come over and it is simply because of my energy. Having a good energy is best way to be a friendly guy and ultimately pickup women.
As always, I welcome your feedback. How did you like this information? What other questions do you have as a result of reading it?
Renegade runs http://puahelpdesk.com and is dedicated to the study Charisma/Personal Magnetism. He believes that knowledge inspires confidence, confidence inspires action and the more action you take, the more powerful you will become.
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