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Boyfriends, jobs and kino
In this article, I'm going to address the issue of boyfriends and then answer some questions.
I should point out that I never approach a woman with the intention of becoming her boyfriend. At the appropriate time, I always make it clear I am not looking for a relationship (by disqualifying myself) and always ask about her current situation. As a result of this, I've found women to be very open about what goes on with other guys.
I guess most guys realize attractive women get attention, but the reality may disturb you.
They have many, many options, which they will fall back on given the right circumstances.
There was one Russian woman I was seeing who worked at a Night club as a bartender. She gets a lot of attention and in some cases was interested in these guys. I knew she was seeing other guys, yet she would call and ask to hang out with me (read that again) because "I was different than all the rest." I would actually encourage her to go out to expensive dinners with these guys and get as much money out of them as possible. This only seemed to make her more interested because how many guys say that? Virtually none. What most guys do is get all jealous and aggressive and often abusive. Become the fun, non-threatening guy and they will chase you. But can you do that? Or are you so needy, she has to be in contact with you daily?
Here's the thing. You met her today, but someone else might meet her tomorrow. Get over it. It is just your ego fucking with you. Learn to shut down the ego and you will no longer care about any of it. Stephane of Ideagasms says relationships are a day by day proposition. It is very true. By relating your reality about relationships, she will take a closer look at her own.
Another aspect to the issue of boyfriends is the spiritual development of the woman in question. If she has an open 4th or heart chakra, she will be less likely to act based on the primal wiring, which is to respond to any stimulus. What I mean by this is that most women who meet a guy who attracts them will respond automatically, i.e give their number. The fact they have a boyfriend will not even enter the equation. They will cheat. On me and on you, no matter how well you treat them.
Women with a closed heart chakra are also generally stressed and what some would term bitchy. They experience an emptiness that no amount of money or trips to Tiffany's will ever fill. Explains a lot really. The Russian woman above had a closed heart chakra in case you were wondering, but she also had an attitude of just not giving a fuck, which I found particularly attractive.
Let's say you are in a set with a woman and she brings up the fact she has a boyfriend. If she is saying that to you as a way of saying "no thanks," then you fucked up by showing too much interest. Bring it up first by asking.
"But if I ask, she might give me the same answer," I hear you say. Sure, but by doing so you are displaying it is ok with you and that you are not hitting on her -- you're chatting to her about relationships. Talk about fuck buddies you've had. Ask her if she has had any. If this seems strange, then you need to get more comfortable talking about it. You do that by practise.
You can also start talking to her about her relationship and probe for some cracks. Say things like, "cool, when are you guys getting married?" This is will cause her to compare her current boyfriend with Mr Perfect and see that he doesn't exactly stack up. If you act like it isn't a big deal, that you aren't looking to replace her boyfriend, you'll find it simply won't be an issue when you do decide she is cool and worthy of your time.
This is called going in blind. If you don't know the details, she won't commit to the interaction. If she has a live in boyfriend, she generally won't give you her number, because she can't have you calling her at the wrong time. In other words, you are blind to her situation. So find out what her situation is and go from there. Try it, next time you are in an interaction with a woman ask her what her relationship situation is.
I was asked about mentioning your job. If you are proud of what you do, I don't see why you should hide it. The key is to explain it in a fun way. I will often say that I work for a real asshole -- I'm self-employed. The job in question was a golf professional, so you could say you help old people with mental problems. She will ask if you work at a hospital, then you say no, I'm a golf pro. If you can get a laugh, all the better. I did a workshop with a guy who flew planes to detect gold. He would say he operated the world's biggest metal detector. You can always find a way to be creative about what you do. If I sense the woman is way too interested in what I do, I'll say I'm unemployed and change the subject immediately to something more fun. Try it, come up with 5 ways you can describe what you do in a fun way. If you get stuck, email me and I'll help you out.
Next question deals with kino and when to use it. Immediately. Touch her to get her attention and once you start talking to her, use the back or the tips of your fingers to touch her on the arm. And do this while smiling. Hold her hand a bit longer than usual when shaking it. If you say something and she laughs - kino. If she says something you think is cool - kino. Then -- assuming you have escalated at the right moments and moved the interaction forward by expressing your sexual interest -- take her hands, hold her hand, touch her hair, etc, etc. Being all grabby and having your arm around her, leaning on her, or on the bar/wall behind her is not kino. It is being a creepy, grabby weirdo.
Go for it,
Renegade runs http://puahelpdesk.com and is dedicated to the study Charisma/Personal Magnetism. He believes that knowledge inspires confidence, confidence inspires action and the more action you take, the more powerful you will become.
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