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Questions from the Stylelife challenge.

By Renegade

I'm not sure if you listened to the final conference call from Style, but there were some interesting topics raised during it.

Among them were:

neediness
value of rejection
power of focus
Great come back - "you're only saying that because you're attracted to me."
low pressure, high quality date ideas
role play - imagine someone else
escalation
owning your own space
Having the same 1 or 2 openers - something the best of the best do.
Curiosity - building your inner social scientist.

I have an article about curiosity in the works. Please let me know which of the others you would also like to see expanded on/have questions about.

One of the callers was a guy in Miami. He had been talking with a woman and email closed. He decided to push for the number as well, so she wrote it down on the same piece of paper and he put it in his pocket without looking at it. She then said she had to leave and as she left in a hurry, she fell over. He helped her up. Later on, he sees her out the front of the club and since he couldn't remember her name, digs into his pocket to read the piece of paper. She told him not to do that, because she had written something mean. When he looked at the number, it said 1 800 Go Fuck Yourself.

Ouch!

This leads into the first question I want to address this issue: How to keep self-esteem high after criticism. First, I want to clear up the difference between self-esteem and self-love. They are not the same.

"Self-esteem is an inner quality, a sense or feeling that we are capable of dealing effectively with whatever life presents."

"Self-love means that you enjoy spending time with yourself; enjoy it so much that you become your own best pal."

The better you get at calibrating people, the less of these types of incidents will occur. When you can sense something is wrong, you can go straight into a cold read about that. For example, she might be looking uncomfortable, no eye contact, etc. By saying, I can sense you are uncomfortable, besides pacing her reality, you are also demonstrating higher value by being so intuitive. After pacing her reality, you can lead her into a more positive state and you might find she opens up after all. She doesn't know you, she isn't judging you, so this is one less thing to think about.

You don't have to be perfect and feel free to laugh at the whole thing. This comes directly back to what I always say - don't take this seriously. I do a sales job where I get rejected time and time again, but I always get a yes. You can't change what has happened, or what is about to occur, all you can concentrate on is the present moment. Let it go. Relax.

Always remember that the problem lies within the other person. You may have inadvertently triggered something, i.e and emotional blockage, but they are the one with issues.

The next question deals with my recommendations for any other books. I saw a post about guys being interested in a forum about more inner game things. That is where the knowledge you need lies. You don't need any more routines or gimmicks, you need to develop your inner game, which will also develop your personal magnetism and ultimately, your charisma. There are a lot of great materials out there - let me think about how I could best incorporate what I have already studied and read and share that. One book I have been extremely impressed by is Prometheus Rising. I may even write a summary of the book if that would be of interest. Please let me know. I have basically read everything out there, so it isn't an easy question to answer without knowing exactly what you are looking for.

The next question deals with breaking down the barriers in a set of HB10s. This is really simple. Stand out from all the other guys. How do you do this? Appear relaxed, calm and completely unfazed by their looks. Every guy who approaches them is nervous as shit and oh-so serious. Do the exact opposite of that and you are on the right track. You also need to hook them with something right away. It could be humor, it could be an opinion opener. I am testing some openers about colors at the moment. For example, if a woman is wearing a purple top, I'll make a comment about purple being a healing color and then go into a bit about how I did a seminar on energy and the color of my aura was purple. I then go into a cold read based on typing and her vibe. It is very easy to find a hook with that approach. I have also subconsciously adopted the body language and mannerisms of a enigmatic person. They simply can't get a solid read on me, which many women find fascinating.

Another question related to flirting, then ejecting before screwing it up. This is an easy problem to fix. Simply work out your deal before you begin the flirting. Let's say your deal is to ask her out for coffee. Style says coffee dates are boring, but if you have something to share and a desire to learn about her, you can make it interesting. Better yet, go to a gypsy/head shop first then hit the coffee shop to talk about metaphysics. After the initial flirting, simply relate your deal on a high point. Let's say she smiles.

"Wow, you have a really great smile. Just as well I only go out for coffee with nice smilers. Would you like to have coffee with me and [insert hook]?"

You have met her, interacted with her and are now rewarding her (asking her out for coffee) because she has a nice smile that you were able to elicit.

If she says she can't or has a boyfriend, then you simply start using that as a barrier. You know, it's too bad you [insert barrier]. That means we can't go for a coffee and I can't show you [insert hook]."

There was also a question about finding a wingman. You can use the local lair, but I think the best place to meet a great wing is at a seminar. I met a guy at the Huna Trance seminar I did who was almost my exact equal when it comes to knowledge, interests, etc. He was a cool guy I enjoyed hanging out with. Being able to sarge together was just a bonus. Your wing needs to be a friend as well, so you can engage in animated discussions/laughter with each other. Next time you're out, observe how many small groups of guys you see laughing with each other and having a good time. Or are they just standing there in silence holding a beer across their chests?

As always, I welcome your feedback. How did you like this information? What other questions do you have as a result of reading it?

Regards,
Renegade

--

Renegade runs http://puahelpdesk.com and is dedicated to the study Charisma/Personal Magnetism. He believes that knowledge inspires confidence, confidence inspires action and the more action you take, the more powerful you will become.


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